Archive for May, 2010
I need help with a marriage question?
I am an adult looking for adult answers, please I really don’t need the kill the bitch or totally uncalled for answers. I genuinely need help.
My wife and I have been married for 6 years, we are 27 years old and we have 3 wonderful kids and she has been telling me all along that she is happy. She recently met another man that is 15 years older than her and wanted to become friends. I was cool with it because I was never totally jealous. Long story short I found out that she had more in depth feelings for him and after many lies and me questioning, she finally told me the truth. We talked about it and she decided she wanted to be with me and said he was out of the picture. She said that she even began having the feelings for him because I never fully let her be herself. I asked her why she never told me and she said because she didn’t feel she could. I asked her if it was fair to not let me know and have feelings for another man before I was able to work on what I was doing and she said that she was just being true to herself and things happen for a reason. We went on for a couple more weeks well when she told me that she had the feelings for him again. She said that before she can move on with our life she needs to see if there is something between them. I know that they have never done anything physical she says that they are just in the getting to know each other stage and taking it slow. She said you can do what you want but I may come back to you. So I am stuck knowing we were meant to be together and wishing that she will come back, but also watching her feel out another relationship slowly with another man. My question is, do I continue to be the loving affectionate man to show her that I love her to hopefully help her come back, or do I give her the cold shoulder to make her see what it is like with me gone? I am just scared that giving her the cold shoulder will make her go to him even more.
PLEASE HELP!!
Ultimately she says that it boils down to she even had these feelings because I never let her be her. I asked why didn’t you tell me that because I didn’t know, and she said I didn’t think I could. I said so if you didn’t come to me and give me that chance why is it fair to me that I wasn’t given that chance before you explore with this guy and all she says is "it happened that you made me feel that way whether you knew it or not, so now for myself I need to feel out these feelings instead of letting them go before we move on while I am sitting her knowing what I did now and have changed that for her, she even said she can tell that I have changed but it is too late, she feels that she met him for a reason and owes it to her to feel it out before we continue. I said what about our vows and kids, and she said " right now I know it sounds selfish but I need to do this for me" and she says stop saying that we are done, who knows maybe I won’t like him that much and want to continue,
Also, before we met she even said herself I had my fun and I got it all out so on some level I may think that she really didn’t, but on another level I defend her by saying it can’t be a mid-life crisis since she did have her fun. Also, I really am right now doing everything to show her I love her, even above what I did before because I did see on some level my bad points that she brought up.
You’re in a tough situation. I’ve never been where you are, but if the situation were reversed and that was my husband, I’d have to leave him. There’s a line between meeting someone online, even developing a crush out of that online friendship, and then pursuing it. She may be seeing about how they feel, but she’s cheating on you. When you got married, you both vowed to forsake all others. She’s not doing that. It’s hard to say if it’s harder if it’s behind your back or in front of your face. She has enough respect to tell you what’s going on, but she’s still disrespecting you by doing this. She’s being completely selfish, and you should, at the very least, separate. Personally, I’d divorce my husband if he cheated. Take your kids into consideration. If she’s doing this, they will grow up thinking this is OK. If you don’t think it is OK, you need to put a stop to this one way or another.
How do I tell my wife how bored I am with our marriage without crushing her?
I’m in my mid-thirties and have been married for 13 years. I have two grade school age kids. I love them all, however I’m bored out of my skull with the banality of our life. We are lower middle-class and don’t have the money to buy excitement. But it is more than that: I am discontent with not being able to pursue anything new (career wise) for myself because it may set us back further financially than we already are (I make significantly more money). I’m so sick of sales and it’s all I’ve ever done. I don’t mind helping with housekeeping, but outside of washing the clothes, feel like I’m doing way more than she is and I can’t stand the domestic monotony. SEX, she seems content with once a week – Sat only – but subtract an average of twice a month for her period, misc. illnesses or anything that may interupt her getting her in the mood emotionally. There’s more but I don’t have the space here. Am I starting a mid-life crisis, and being a jerk – or do things need to change? HELP.
Well, all I can tell you is that it is not about money. I am very similar in age and family status but money is not an issue for us. However I feel the same way. We go on vacations to different places but it does help much. I think it is just being thirty-something with kids.
Jay Bakker on Marriage and Ted Haggard
Progressive minister Jay Bakker, son of Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker, shares his views on gay rights and the Ted Haggard scandal.
http://www.gayrightswatch.com
Duration : 0:4:6
Aristotle’s Take on Gay Marriage?
Complete video at: http://fora.tv/2008/07/04/Michael_Sandel_Justice-Journey_in_Moral_Reasoninga
Harvard University Professor of Government Michael Sandel explains classical Aristotelian notions of “justice,” by examining them in the context of the modern issue of same-sex marriage.
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Harvard professor Michael Sandel gives a lecture condensed from his popular university class Justice: A Journey in Moral Reasoning.
In it, he analyzes the meaning of justice in the modern world. – 2008 Aspen Ideas Festival
Michael J. Sandel is the Anne T. and Robert M. Bass Professor of Government at Harvard University, where he has taught political philosophy since 1980. He is the author of Liberalism and the Limits of Justice (Cambridge University Press, 1982, 2nd edition, 1997; translated into eight foreign languages), Democracy’s Discontent: America in Search of a Public Philosophy (Harvard University Press, 1996), Public Philosophy: Essays on Morality in Politics (Harvard University Press, 2005), and The Case against Perfection: Ethics in the Age of Genetic Engineering (Harvard University Press, 2007). His writings also appear in general publications such as The Atlantic Monthly, The New Republic, and The New York Times.
Duration : 0:4:40
Career Change Ideas
http://ezinearticles.com/?Career-Ch
Finding career change ideas can be difficult and there are many thing to consider, from decision making to interview preparation
http://www.coolercareers.com
Duration : 2 min 25 sec